I thought I was going to lose it when I started seeing all his stuff around the apartment, but I haven't.

I actually feel… Alright.

I miss him, of course, but I'm used to being without him. We've spent so much of our relationship apart that this feeling is something I've gotten used to. Even smelling his cologne and seeing his clothes hung up in the closet didn't bring the tears - in fact, I even sprayed some of his cologne onto my pillow so I can sleep better tonight.

Maybe it's because I got an amazing skype call tonight, maybe it's because Derek has a way of making me fall in love with him all over again every time I talk to him, maybe it's because I feel so at home here. I truly don't know what it is, but I feel at ease in this place tonight.

I'm feeling really optimistic about this weekend so far.

And, I'm even feeling optimistic about the rest of deployment… 

(But only for tonight.)