The deaths.
The ones the strike closest to home, unexpected and unfair. The ones that happen at the most incomprehensible times. The ones that are too close for comfort and effect the ones you love the most.
Yesterday, my husband lost one of his best friends from an IED. He and a group from his platoon went out on patrol and he walked right over it. He and 4 Afghani military personnel were killed instantly, and the other US soldier was in the ER all night.
He was in Korea with Derek, and he was a man that never failed to make him laugh, a man that never forgot to ask how he was doing… He was one of Derek’s closest friends. He was a mentor to him. They’ve known each other for years. He was very much a brother to Derek and this loss of life has deeply affected both of us - it struck a chord because this man was “a really good man”. He was headed home in less than 30 days to meet his twin baby girls for the first time; these beautiful girls will never meet their dad and now his wife has to try to help them remember his memory.
Derek heard the explosion. He knew he was going out on patrol. He never got to say goodbye to his friend. This is the first death he and I have ever experienced as a couple, and I can’t even give him a hug.
When he told me, I turned into a robot. Telling him that he only had one job - to come home - and that he didn’t need to worry about me, or the house, or anyone, just himself and coming home safely. I told him that there’s nothing that will make this better but the best way to honor his memory is to simply keep doing his job and keep working hard. He said that he doesn’t want to be there anymore. Through his tears, he said, “I need to come home to you. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to be done with this so I can be with you.” I had no response to that. What on earth could I say to a man that’s always been so strong? How could I help him feel better? The truth is that I can’t.
My heart is broken for his friend, his friend’s family, his baby girls, and the whole company. The platoon is having their service for him in a few hours and all I can think about is how I can’t do anything to help my husband. It’s selfish but he’s my only concern. I’ve contacted the FRG for any information and was told that they’d let me know if any needs arise… But I’m still feeling lost. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel right now.
So, for those who have fallen and those who are still fighting. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t lose hope. Your job is to come home safely, and our job is to protect what’s been left at home. We are loving you and supporting you no matter where you are, no matter what you do. Thank you for making the ultimate sacrifice so that we may continue to live safely at home.
This one’s for you SGT Brown. Rest easy, soldier, we’ve got your back down here. Keep watch over our men and protect them in the coming weeks - please see them home safely so that they may continue your legacy of kindness and love.
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