Why, hello there October, when did you get here?

Without realizing it, September has passed and we are already into October. Where has this month gone?

I'm surprised by two things: one, at how quickly one month has passed and two, how slowly time ticked by.  Embarrassingly, I'm elated to see the abbreviation "Sat Oct 1" in the top right corner of my computer screen because it is proof that time has passed since Derek left - albeit small, this new month is a milestone for me.

I'm taking things in small steps, reverting back to that old adage of "remember to take baby steps". We all have to learn how to walk before we can run, right? Well, I'm trudging along at my own pace... I feel like I'm going to need to take many, many, baby steps before I can jump into a comfortable jog during this deployment, but I also feel like (at some point) I'll be able cruise through it with a fairly comfortable speed.

I'm going to be alright. 

We are going to be alright.

I still hurt and I still get horribly lonely, but I know that I'm not alone in this feeling. Hearing "I miss you" is all I need to hear to know that I am loved, that my absence is also tugging at his heartstrings, and that we are in this together. But, we are making it work, passing the time, and finding our way back to each other through Skype dates and phone calls... 

While the days may pass at a snails pace, the weeks are beginning to fall into a chaotic but rhythmic pattern: work, sleep, Skype, sleep, work, exercise, phone call, sleep, work, exercise, Skype. While it's not ideal, it's what will get us through these next 7 months. 

And that's enough for me.

So, with that, I say hello to October and goodbye to September. September, was a month of tears, frustration, anger, and angst, but October will be a month of growing, loving and living. Let's make it a good one.